My Sacrament Meeting talk from Mother's Day 2017

The Holy Spirit has been working on me for a while to post the talk I gave last year in Sacrament meeting on Mother's Day.  I thought today would be appropriate.  Normally, I do not have my talk written out verbatim, but I pleaded with the Lord to help me have at least the majority written, so that I would not falter, because some of the subject matter is extra-emotional for me.  I added a few links to scripture references.

Enjoy!



How can our family life bring us joy and happiness?

So many possible directions for this talk.  Since I can’t go into them all, I wanted to at least list some possible venues for your personal exploration:

• Finding joy in the journey
• Experiencing joy in building Zion even in the mundane tasks 
• Creating happiness in uniting as a family
• Building family relationships that bring joy
• Founding our family on the teachings of Jesus Christ
• Nurturing our personal joy and then bringing that to the family
• Choosing joy amid trial and hardship
• Having joy in multiplying and replenishing the earth

Each of these could be a Sacrament talk.  In my scripture studies the past couple of weeks, I have read the Book of Mormon with questions regarding direction and insights for this talk - so you’ll see it’s some of some of that, and some of none of that, and I hope the spirit of what I’m trying to say comes through.

To start, as Ammon asked, I’ve been pondering:  Have we not great reason to rejoice?

In Nephi’s vision of the tree of life, after being asked the meaning of the tree of life, Nephi writes:
22 And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.
23 And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.  (1 Nephi 11)

If the love of God is most desirable above all things and most joyous to the soul, is it possible that if not the next, surely close to the next thing most desirable and joyous to the soul would be the love of and for our family members?

"the end of all activity in the Church is to see that a man and a woman with their children are happy at home, sealed together for time and for all eternity." -- Boyd K Packer, April 2015

If we are not feeling this joy - that we are designed to feel in our families - I believe there is something we can personally do that will help change that.

Part of what I’m hoping to demonstrate here is that you can look to the Book of Mormon and find personal answers to your personal questions - I have experienced this before the stake presidency gave us the challenge to read the BoM with a question, but since the challenge, I have been blown away by the amount of inspiration that has streamed into my life.

One of the scriptures that touched me deeply in studying for this talk is in Mosiah 18.  I asked the night I was studying this chapter “How can I find joy and happiness in family life?”  In verse 21 -

21 And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another.
23 And he commanded them that they should observe the sabbath day, and keep it holy, and also every day they should give thanks to the Lord their God.
25 And there was one day in every week that was set apart that they should gather themselves together to teach the people, and to worship the Lord their God, and also, as often as it was in their power, to assemble themselves together.
30...yea, the place of Mormon, the waters of Mormon, the forest of Mormon, how beautiful are they to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer; yea, and how blessed are they, for they shall sing to his praise forever.

I got a lot!  As a family, we need to unite in worship, love, work, prayer, service, Sabbath-day observance, family get-togethers and even singing together.  I was trying to think how we can unite spiritually together, and I kept coming back to v. 21, this idea of looking forward with one eye - maybe in the vernacular we could call it sharing a family vision.  So, this week, I have been trying to focus more on our shared vision - especially reminding my children that we want our home to have a loving spirit and be a safe atmosphere for everyone - this is a vision we share - and reminders of this have helped me both being gentle in my discipline, and also helping them understand that they can and may actually want to choose to put a stop to bickering and contention.

Something the Lord has been teaching me recently is that He wants me to involve Him every day - more than just in my morning and evening prayers - in the mundane things as well as the spiritual or emotional (or even physical) emergencies.  Sometimes I think oh - I know how to handle that - and I don’t need to bother Him … but is there a better way?  Wouldn’t He like to accompany me on this diaper change?  He can always help me handle things - even things that I already know - by helping me express more grace, more love - more Christlike character.  This will then help me be more like Him, and help those I serve be better served, and the cycle will continue as they serve those around them better based on my example.

"our Heavenly Father never intended that we would deal with the maze of personal problems and social issues on our own" -- Russell M Nelson, Apr 2017

Maybe that includes diaper changes or determining lunch?!  Why not imagine Him by our side, and see how that changes us and our family happiness.

Another thing I’ve been practicing doing with my children is what we call “do-overs” (I got it from a book, can’t take credit).  When I am exasperated, my gentleness is one of the first things to go out the window … but when or once I have the wherewithal, I stop myself, apologize, and say, I’m going to do that over.  Then it might be, “I understand that you are having fun playing your game, but it is time to set the table, and as a family we help each other out.”  Or, if the kids are fighting, I might have them stop and practice communicating in kinder words or actions.  It may feel a little corny, to stand there and have them say “I understand that you want a turn with my toy; I will let you after I finish,” and then the other, of course recites, “I understand that it is your toy and you are playing with it; May I please have a turn? Or thank you for letting me have a turn.”  But the next time the situation arises … they are equipped with another choice of words to say than the first, natural-man reaction.  They have practiced their parts to be kinder and give the benefit of the doubt.  Could this apply to other family relationships, too?  Can we forgive and have do-overs when we offend or are offended?  How much peace can we create?!

New train of thought:  There are no sides in family.  In Mosiah chapter 20, we have the story of the priests of King Noah, who carried off the Lamanite daughters.  The Lamanites wrongly accuse the people of Limhi.  King Limhi sees the war preparation and prepares his people for war also.  Doesn’t this already sound like [it could relate to a family] argument brewing?  ...The king is found wounded among the dead, but they question him instead of slaying him, and find out about the accusation.  King Limhi offers to search among his people (which is like a self-examination for wrong-doing - maybe we do need to apologize - it never hurts to self-examine and repent where necessary).  Then Gideon suggests the true culprits - the wicked priests.  The Lamanite king and people of Limhi go without arms and the king pleads on behalf of the people of Limhi, and peace is restored.  Imagine going back to the offended without any weapons - no harsh words, no biting sarcasm, no counter-accusations?  What if we drop it all and plead - in prayer or in person on behalf of hurt.

There are no sides in family.  Before you accuse someone - remember that as a family, you are on the same side.  The true enemy is not each other (represented here by the Lamanites and people of Limhi) but the father of contention, himself, yea, that old serpent, the devil (represented here by the wicked priests).  There are no “sides” in family.

New train of thought:  From the Family Proclamation, we read:  "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

Ok, so, we need to learn the teachings of Jesus Christ, and make those principles our foundation.

Or in a slightly different angle:  To have joy and happiness in our family life, we must approach the source of joy and happiness, Jesus Christ, and bring Him and His teachings into our family life.  This is kind of an individual journey - you cannot force someone else to be happy if they are determined not to be.  Case in point, Laman and Lemuel who wouldn’t go to the tree!  But we can be examples, we can focus on what we can change.

Which brings me to the next point.  We can choose happiness.  We can choose joy.  Some might think that happiness is something that happens to you.  Maybe once they have a beautiful house, car, spouse, children, THEN they’ll be happy.  Or maybe happiness is served on a silver platter.  In my experience, happiness is something we experience in spite of what we go through.

I believe happiness is something we choose - and we have the liberty to choose it through righteous living and faith.  Why is this?  We must live true to what we know - to our consciences - in order to have the peace inside which happiness is based on.  Then, come what may, we love it!

To quote President Nelson:
“Saints can be happy under every circumstance. We can feel joy even while having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year!
“My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.
“When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation, ... Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives. Joy comes from and because of Him. He is the source of all joy. We feel it at Christmastime when we sing, “Joy to the world, the Lord is come.”9 And we can feel it all year round. For Latter-day Saints, Jesus Christ is joy!”-- Nelson, Oct 2016

I find it interesting that Mother’s Day is in the spring, just after we’ve celebrated Easter - a time of birth and rebirth.  When I was pregnant with our 3rd child, Thomas, I was due the week after Easter.  That day, a friend called me and told me of the death of a close relative.  I remember saying to her … “but if you could choose when to die - wouldn’t Easter be the best time?  When everything around you speaks of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and His victory over death?”  I had never thought of that before, but the words came to me in the moment, … and I have pondered it ever since.  Because … 3 days later, I went into labor with my fastest ever, most-complication-free, delivery.  Thomas was born blue and without a heartbeat, but an incredible staff of neonatologists were able to get his heart beating and put him on a ventilator, although a preliminary scan showed abnormal brain activity - brain damage.  We began a treatment that was to halt the brain damage.  It was decided I would go home that night, to have a comfortable bed try and sleep and come back in the morning.  We didn’t know if he would live or die.  I opened my Book of Mormon, praying for a message for me, and read these words from Alma 4:

12 Yea, he saw great inequality among the people, some lifting themselves up with their pride, despising others, turning their backs upon the needy and the naked and those who were hungry, and those who were athirst, and those who were sick and afflicted.
13 Now this was a great cause for lamentations among the people, while others were abasing themselves, succoring those who stood in need of their succor, such as imparting their substance to the poor and the needy, feeding the hungry, and suffering all manner of afflictions, for Christ’s sake, who should come according to the spirit of prophecy;
14 Looking forward to that day, thus retaining a remission of their sins; being filled with great joy because of the resurrection of the dead, according to the will and power and deliverance of Jesus Christ from the bands of death.

This chapter begins after a huge war - so great were their afflictions that every soul had cause to mourn. In my margins by verse 14, I had written:  "People who lost family - this was their hope - they had to do everything in v. 13"

I was in disbelief, but I had my answer.  I knew he would die.  I knew my hope would be looking forward to the resurrection.  As one by one his organs came online … his brain, which had suffered from swelling, shut down.  We had many spiritual experiences throughout his brief life and since.

The world would tell you to be devastated, and it was devastating - but more in a shock to the system, that this would be God’s will for our family.  The world would tell you you could never recover - and I do still think about my son a lot, but I not in a despondent way.  I choose happiness.  I know I will see him again.  If you knew you would see someone tomorrow, would you be so anguished at saying good-bye today?  I can practically see our reunion in my mind’s eye - I can almost taste our reunion - will not the tears of sorrow turn to rejoicing?  If I can rejoice tomorrow, can I not rejoice today?  O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?  In the teeniest way like Christ, for the joy set before me, I endure the cross, despising the shame (Hebrews 12:2).

If you want more happiness and joy in this life, you must choose it.  Choose to put on a smile. Choose to come unto Christ.  Choose to follow that still, small voice, which tells you to pause, bridle your passions, and act in love.  Choose to act in love (for love is an action - people don’t fall out of love - they choose not to love anymore), and you will find that love reciprocates back to you - if not in the way you want or expect, then in a way you didn’t expect.  The best love ... is Christ’s love.  "O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever" (Jacob 3:2)  I have experienced this feasting on His love, and its miraculous, healing influence.  I know He is there for us, to console us in our afflictions, and to plead our cause.

To sum up, I want to go back to the beginning of my talk.  How do we have joy and happiness in our family life?  We choose it.  We choose happiness.  Choose gratitude.  Choose love.  We choose Jesus Christ.

(Alma 26) 35 Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, … he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name. 36 Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of … [me and my family]

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Let's Discuss: "The Plan and the Proclamation" by Dallin H. Oaks

"The Plan and the Proclamation"
By Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
30 September 2017, Saturday morning Session 

Hymn recommendations:
250  We Are All Enlisted
256  As Zion's Youth in Latter Days
263  Go Forth with Faith
297  From Homes of Saints Glad Songs Arise

Favorite quote:

We must try to balance the competing demands of following the gospel law in our personal lives and teachings, even as we seek to show love for all.

One-sentence synopsis:
Our worldview is moving farther apart from the world's, still we choose the Lord's Way as outlined in the Family Proclamation.

Quotes and Discussion:

I found that Elder Oaks's talk was really easy to create discussion questions from.  His logical, laid-out style makes it easy to understand as you follow along (or easy to go back if you get lost).

As is evident in our family proclamation, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are blessed with unique doctrine and different ways of viewing the world. ...

What examples of unique doctrine and different ways of viewing the world from the Proclamation can you think of?  I thought of the doctrine of Heavenly Parents, temple ordinances, children as "an heritage of the Lord," the first commandment still being in force.  It still surprises me when I encounter people who do not want any or many children, for example.

...We participate and even excel in many worldly activities, but on some subjects we forgo participation as we seek to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ and His Apostles, ancient and modern.

What subjects do we forgo participation of?  I thought of some Sunday activities, contraceptives?, then after reading more of his talk, I came back and added:  same-sex marriage and cohabitation!

I love that Elder Oaks sectionalizes his talks.  I try to figure out what the main theme is for each section.  Section I seems to be defining "the world" and an intro to the importance of families in God's plan.  I made a list based on my preconceptions and Elder Oaks's words for "What is the world?"  Let me know in the comments what you would add.

What is the "world?"

• Telestial-ity
• That which chokes unrooted seedlings (parable of the sower)
• Riches and worldly cares
• That which hates things of God
• Opposition to Christ's teachings
• Foolishness or vanity
• The traditions of men
• Enmity with God (natural man)
• Conformity (keep up with Joneses)
• Popularity
• Mockers, scorners (vision of tree of life)

I.
In a parable, Jesus described those who “[hear] the word” but become “unfruitful” when that word is “choke[d]” by “the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches” (Matthew 13:22). Later, Jesus corrected Peter for not savoring “the things that be of God, but those that be of men,” declaring, “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” (Matthew 16:23, 26). In His final teachings in mortality, He told His Apostles, “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, … the world hateth you” (John 15:19; see also John 17:14, 16).  [emphasis added]

Why can't we "coexist?"  Why does the world HATE the righteous?  Share your thoughts below.  I thought of the differences between light and dark - darkness must flee in the presence of light.  Where there is light, darkness cannot abide.  Light cleaveth unto light.  This means to me that people at different spiritual levels have a friction - a disparity of frequency, if you will.  Animal magnetism in reverse - repulsion.  Consider also John 3:20, which reads, "For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved."

Similarly, the writings of Jesus’s early Apostles frequently use the image of “the world” to represent opposition to gospel teachings. “Be not conformed to this world” (Romans 12:2), the Apostle Paul taught. “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19). And, “Beware,” he warned, “lest any man spoil you … after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ” (Colossians 2:8). The Apostle James taught that “the friendship of the world is enmity with God[.] Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God” (James 4:4).

First, this does not mean that we should not be friendly!  Elder Oaks is teaching us that when the scriptures speak of the world, they are often referring to the natural man - opposition or enmity to God - not individuals of other faiths, for example.  We all have to root out the natural man, or the world!  On this level, the "world" is not us against them, it is me against myself, you against yourself.

The Book of Mormon often uses this image of the opposition of “the world.” Nephi prophesied the ultimate destruction of “those who are built up to become popular in the eyes of the world, and those who seek … the things of the world” (1 Nephi 22:23; see also 2 Nephi 9:30). Alma condemned those who were “puffed up … with the vain things of the world” (Alma 31:27). Lehi’s dream shows that those who seek to follow the iron rod, the word of God, will encounter the opposition of the world. The occupants of the “great and spacious building” Lehi saw were “mocking and pointing” the “finger of scorn” (1 Nephi 8:26–27, 33). In his vision interpreting this dream, Nephi learned that this ridicule and opposition came from “the multitudes of the earth, … the world and the wisdom thereof; … the pride of the world” (1 Nephi 11:34–36).

How do we "heed not" the mocking and pointing of the world?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  I thought of humility, and keeping our focus on Christ.  If we are with Christ, scorning does not matter to us.  Charity can also change our view of the mockers - they do not have the happiness most joyous to the soul at the tree of life.  (Bonus question:  How is humility/focusing on Christ/etc. different from being unfriendly?)

What is the meaning of these scriptural cautions and commandments not to be “of the world” or the modern commandment to “forsake the world”? (D&C 53:2). President Thomas S. Monson summarized these teachings: “We must be vigilant in a world which has moved so far from that which is spiritual. It is essential that we reject anything that does not conform to our standards, refusing in the process to surrender that which we desire most: eternal life in the kingdom of God.”1  [emphasis added]

Can you think of anything in your life that you need to reject because it does not conform to our standards?  (You don't have to answer - this is more to ponder.)  Maybe a tv show that is uncomfortably violent?  Maybe a friendship that is hurting you?

God created this earth according to His plan to provide His spirit children a place to experience mortality as a necessary step toward the glories He desires for all His children. While there are various kingdoms and glories, our Heavenly Father’s ultimate desire for His children is what President Monson called “eternal life in the kingdom of God,” which is exaltation in families. This is more than salvation. President Russell M. Nelson has reminded us, “In God’s eternal plan, salvation is an individual matter; [but] exaltation is a family matter.”2

The restored gospel of Jesus Christ and the inspired family proclamation, which I will discuss later, are essential teachings to guide mortal preparation for exaltation. Even as we must live with the marriage laws and other traditions of a declining world, those who strive for exaltation must make personal choices in family life according to the Lord’s way whenever that differs from the world’s way.  [emphasis added]

What do you think Elder Oaks means by "a declining world?"  I was reminded of the building in Lehi's vision of the tree of life - it says that great was the fall thereof.  A "declining world" is telling me its fall has begun.

It makes sense to me that if we do not wish to fall with the world, we must do as Elder Oaks says, and "make personal choices in family life according to the Lord's way whenever that differs from the world's way."  Can you think of there aspects of "the world" that are congruent with the Lord's way?

In this mortal life, we have no memory of what preceded our birth, and we now experience opposition. We grow and mature spiritually by choosing to obey God’s commandments in a succession of right choices. These include covenants and ordinances and repentance when our choices are wrong. In contrast, if we lack faith in God’s plan and are disobedient to or deliberately refrain from its required actions, we forgo that growth and maturity. The Book of Mormon teaches, “This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God” (Alma 34:32).  [emphasis added]

 I like that.  In my notes, I wrote:  "Succession of right choices = covenants + ordinances + repentance."  We must not get bogged down by perfectionism.  We cannot do everything right all of the time!  But repentance is the right choice when we've made those mistakes and sins.

Section II is the shortest in this talk.  It seems to be the point that conflict will arise with our unique worldview.

II.
Latter-day Saints who understand God’s plan of salvation have a unique worldview that helps them see the reason for God’s commandments, the unchangeable nature of His required ordinances, and the fundamental role of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Our Savior’s Atonement reclaims us from death and, subject to our repentance, saves us from sin. With that worldview, Latter-day Saints have distinctive priorities and practices and are blessed with the strength to endure the frustrations and pains of mortal life.

Inevitably, the actions of those who try to follow God’s plan of salvation can cause misunderstanding or even conflict with family members or friends who do not believe its principles. Such conflict is always so. Every generation that has sought to follow God’s plan has had challenges. Anciently, the prophet Isaiah gave strength to the Israelites, whom he called “ye that know righteousness, … in whose heart is my law.” To them he said, “Fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings” (Isaiah 51:7; see also 2 Nephi 8:7). But whatever the cause of conflict with those who do not understand or believe God’s plan, those who do understand are always commanded to choose the Lord’s way instead of the world’s way.  [emphasis added]

Elder Oaks is telling us that conflict always arises with differing opinions, and that it is not something to fear.  Even amidst conflict, we still want to choose the Lord's way.

Section III goes over some of the current, biggest differences between the world and LDS doctrine on families - "cohabitation without marriage, same-sex marriage, and the raising of children in such relationships."

III.
The gospel plan each family should follow to prepare for eternal life and exaltation is outlined in the Church’s 1995 proclamation, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”3 Its declarations are, of course, visibly different from some current laws, practices, and advocacy of the world in which we live. In our day, the differences most evident are cohabitation without marriage, same-sex marriage, and the raising of children in such relationships. ...

I love that Elder Oaks does not shy away from what could be an uncomfortable topic.  Straight to the crux - no guessing what he is specifically talking about.  I also love that he is not accusing or hating, here.  He is merely pointing out some differences.

...Those who do not believe in or aspire to exaltation and are most persuaded by the ways of the world consider this family proclamation as just a statement of policy that should be changed. ...

What difference does believing in and aspiring to exaltation make?
How can we increase our belief in and aspirations to exaltation?

...In contrast, Latter-day Saints affirm that the family proclamation defines the kind of family relationships where the most important part of our eternal development can occur.  [emphasis added]

Read the last sentence (in bold) above again.  What is he saying?  What do you think is the most important part of our eternal development that occurs only within these family relationships?  Comment below.  Here are some things I pondered:  As a married couple, my husband and I have had to put a large amount of selfishness aside, and consider the best for our marriage and family above what might be best for us individually.  As parents, my husband and I definitely understand better the love our Heavenly Parents have for us as we love, teach, provide opportunities for, and nurture our children.  Our children benefit from having a mother and father committed, present, and unified.  Also, "In the ordinances the power of godliness is manifest."  The highest currently available ordinance is that of the sealing of a family unit.

We have witnessed a rapid and increasing public acceptance of cohabitation without marriage and of same-sex marriage. The corresponding media advocacy, education, and even occupational requirements pose difficult challenges for Latter-day Saints. We must try to balance the competing demands of following the gospel law in our personal lives and teachings, even as we seek to show love for all.4 In doing so we sometimes face, but need not fear, what Isaiah called “the reproach of men.”

How can we achieve this balance?  We should not need to compromise our standards.  We can follow the Holy Spirit as to how to respond.  We can draw closer to the Savior.

Converted Latter-day Saints believe that the family proclamation, issued nearly a quarter century ago and now translated into scores of languages, is the Lord’s reemphasis of the gospel truths we need to sustain us through current challenges to the family. Two examples are same-sex marriage and cohabitation without marriage. ...

Can you think of other examples that specifically apply to current challenges?

...Just 20 years after the family proclamation, the United States Supreme Court authorized same-sex marriage, overturning thousands of years of marriage being limited to a man and a woman. The shocking percentage of United States children born to a mother not married to the father came more gradually: 5 percent in 1960,5 32 percent in 1995,6 and now 40 percent.7

Section IV gives an overview of some of the unique doctrines of the Family Proclamation, and also its inspired origins.

IV.
The family proclamation begins by declaring “that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” It also affirms that “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” It further declares “that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”

The proclamation affirms the continuing duty of husband and wife to multiply and replenish the earth and their “solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children”: “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” It solemnly warns against the abuse of spouse or offspring, and it affirms that “happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” Finally, it calls for the promotion of official “measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”

In 1995 a President of the Church and 14 other Apostles of the Lord issued these important doctrinal statements. As one of only seven of those Apostles still living, I feel obliged to share what led to the family proclamation for the information of all who consider it.

The inspiration identifying the need for a proclamation on the family came to the leadership of the Church over 23 years ago. It was a surprise to some who thought the doctrinal truths about marriage and the family were well understood without restatement.8 Nevertheless, we felt the confirmation and we went to work. Subjects were identified and discussed by members of the Quorum of the Twelve for nearly a year. Language was proposed, reviewed, and revised. Prayerfully we continually pleaded with the Lord for His inspiration on what we should say and how we should say it. We all learned “line upon line, precept upon precept,” as the Lord has promised (D&C 98:12).

I thought this was an interesting pattern for acting on revelation - the initial inspiration, followed by confirmation, going to work, discussion, proposal, review, revisions, pleading with the Lord throughout.

During this revelatory process, a proposed text was presented to the First Presidency, who oversee and promulgate Church teachings and doctrine. After the Presidency made further changes, the proclamation on the family was announced by the President of the Church, Gordon B. Hinckley. In the women’s meeting of September 23, 1995, he introduced the proclamation with these words: “With so much of sophistry that is passed off as truth, with so much of deception concerning standards and values, with so much of allurement and enticement to take on the slow stain of the world, we have felt to warn and forewarn.”9

I testify that the proclamation on the family is a statement of eternal truth, the will of the Lord for His children who seek eternal life. It has been the basis of Church teaching and practice for the last 22 years and will continue so for the future. Consider it as such, teach it, live by it, and you will be blessed as you press forward toward eternal life.

Forty years ago, President Ezra Taft Benson taught that “every generation has its tests and its chance to stand and prove itself.”10 I believe our attitude toward and use of the family proclamation is one of those tests for this generation. I pray for all Latter-day Saints to stand firm in that test.  [emphasis added]

How can we pass the test of the family proclamation?  Would anyone like to share their testimonies of the proclamation?

I close with President Gordon B. Hinckley’s teachings uttered two years after the family proclamation was announced. He said: “I see a wonderful future in a very uncertain world. If we will cling to our values, if we will build on our inheritance, if we will walk in obedience before the Lord, if we will simply live the gospel, we will be blessed in a magnificent and wonderful way. We will be looked upon as a peculiar people who have found the key to a peculiar happiness.”11 [emphasis added]

Different is not a bad thing - especially if the difference brings true happiness.  His path, guided by His iron rod leads us to happiness.

I testify of the truth and eternal importance of the family proclamation, revealed by the Lord Jesus Christ to His Apostles for the exaltation of the children of God (see Doctrine and Covenants 131:1–4), in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Reaction to April 2018 Conference

This last weekend was the 188th annual General Conference.  Like many others, I was uplifted and amazed, energized and inspired.  When it was through I said to my husband, "This is what I've been waiting for!"  I'm not even completely sure what I meant, but I felt quickened and thoroughly satisfied through the Spirit, the messages, the announcements, and the call to living closer to the Spirit, closer to our Lord and Savior.

Favorite talks:  Elder De Feo and President Nelson both on Sunday morning!  We'll be discussing those for sure!

The solemn assembly was special.  I started crying during the opening hymn, and was sensitive throughout - it was all so SPECIAL.  I wanted to shout "Hosanna!"  I found myself drawn towards the screen, wanting to reach into it.  I remember saying, "This is what I need."  I love general conference anyway, but I was so happy to be able to participate.  The Spirit was so strong, so moving, so delicious, so wonderful and ... familiar.  I believe the Savior Himself was with us.

Priesthood session was so powerful.  When the prophet had all the Priesthood holders arise, it was electric.  I almost feel like they were taking a "Before" picture - all of these men and young men were consciously choosing to stand with the Prophet.  I think that is significant!  Almost a marshaling of the forces.  I believe that this was a testimony - perhaps of who is on the Lord's side.  Something wonderful is coming.  I was also reminded of Isaiah 52 and in searching found: Doctrine & Covenants 113

7 Questions by Elias Higbee: What is meant by the command in Isaiah, 52d chapter, 1st verse, which saith: Put on thy strength, O Zion—and what people had Isaiah reference to?
8 He had reference to those whom God should call in the last days, who should hold the power of priesthood to bring again Zion, and the redemption of Israel; and TO PUT ON HER STRENGTH IS TO PUT ON THE AUTHORITY OF THE PRIESTHOOD, which she, Zion, has a right to by lineage; also to return to that power which she had lost

My 1yo even stopped playing to watch the closing song. I think he felt the power too.

Sunday morning session, Easter, the choir was spectacular in their song choices.  I noticed (the second time I listened) they changed a word in the 2nd verse of Christ the Lord Is Risen Today - instead of "Love's redeeming work is done," they sang, "Christ's redeeming work is done."  That was a lovely touch.  I loved all the talks, and the prophet's most of all.  I took the most notes from his words.  He confirmed things the Spirit has been teaching me and he inspired me.

After the changes to elders' quorum and home teaching, I felt a little amused because I had the thought that we had been given an upgrade.  I know I am not the only one.  But it felt that revolutionary.  Everything made sense as to preparing to be more of a Zion people.  Of COURSE the high priests should meet with the elders!  This will improve camaraderie, shepherding, etc. etc.  Of COURSE we need to retire visiting teaching and home teaching for ministering.  It is like they took the best of home teaching (involving the youth, etc.) and the best of visiting teaching (service more important than message, etc.) and combined them into something better.

The "good ship Zion" sails on, and I desire to be a part of it.

I plan to continue with some October 2017 discussion posts still.  I have a few outlined that I haven't written up into posts yet.

Let's Discuss: "Bearers of Heavenly Light," by Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Bearers of Heavenly Light,"

By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency
30 September 2017, General Priesthood Session

Quick Synopsis:

We should learn more about the Light of Christ, so we can bear this light to shine in this world and to uplift and bless others.

Hymn Recommendations:
87  The Lord Is My Light
261  Thy Servants Are Prepared
305  The Light Divine
335 Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy

Favorite Quotes:

He who humbly follows Jesus Christ will experience and share in His light.  And that light will grow until it dispels even the most profound darkness. ...there is a power, a strong influence, that emanates from the Savior.

and

...it is our quest to seek the Lord until His light of everlasting life burns brightly within us and our testimony becomes confident and strong even in the midst of darkness.

Something to put on the board:

The healing power of Jesus Christ is not absent in our day.

Discussion and Questions:

This was my absolute favorite talk from #ldsconf October 2017!  It was a second witness to the studies I've been making about the armor of God, the Light of Christ, and Lehi's vision of the tree of life.  This talk is also connected to President Uchtdorf's other talks from this conference (see my discussion from women's session, and Saturday morning session).  He invokes imagery from Lehi's dream (the path and the darkness, etc.), and expounds on light.  Let's start!

An elderly man was standing in line at the post office to buy stamps at the service counter. A young woman noticed that he walked with difficulty and offered to show him how to buy stamps from a machine to save time. The elderly gentleman said, “Thank you, but I prefer waiting. The machine won’t ask me about my arthritis.”

Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who cares about our troubles.

Do we notice?  Do we offer to help?  Do we ask about troubles?  Do we care?

How do we know what to say?  I testify that the Spirit can and will guide us in uplifting others.

Pain, sorrow, and illness are experiences we all share—the moments of mishap, misery, and misfortune can add up to a sizable memory on our soul’s own internal hard drive.  [emphasis added]

Nice alliteration!  Physical and emotional experiences affect our spirit, too.  In particular, President Uchtdorf implies that we can begin to be spiritually burdened - it can build up.

When it comes to our physical well-being, we accept aging and illness as part of our mortal journey. We seek the counsel of professionals who understand the physical body. When we suffer from emotional distress or mental illness, we seek the help of experts who treat these kinds of ailments.

Who are the experts in spiritual ailments?  Jesus Christ is the Master Physician, of course.  Priesthood leaders and priesthood holders can administer blessings with spiritual power, too.

Just as we face physical and emotional trials in this mortality, we also face spiritual challenges. Most of us have experienced times in our lives when our testimony burns brightly. We also may have experienced times when our Heavenly Father seems distant. There are times when we treasure the things of the Spirit with all our hearts. There may also be times when they appear less precious or of diminished significance.

Do you ever have feelings of being spiritually stagnant?  Why do we cycle through these periods of greater and lesser testimony?  I thought of a few reasons.  Sin, of course would be a sure way, but sometimes a little distance is the next trial.

Today I wish to speak of spiritual wellness—how we can find healing from stagnation and walk a path of vibrant spiritual health.

That sounds great!

Spiritual Sickness

Sometimes spiritual illness comes as a result of sin or emotional wounds. Sometimes spiritual breakdowns come so gradually that we can scarcely tell what is happening. Like layers of sedimentary rock, spiritual pain and grief can build over time, weighing upon our spirits until it is almost too heavy to bear. For example, this can happen when our responsibilities at work, home, and church become so overwhelming that we lose sight of the joy of the gospel. We might even feel as though we have no more to give or that living the commandments of God is beyond our strength.

I compiled a list of the sources of spiritual ailments he gives.  There will be a similar list of how to increase our spiritual light.

Spiritual trials:

• pain
• sorrow
• illness
• sin
• emotional wounds
• gradual buildup
• spiritual pain and grief
• overwhelming responsibilities
• losing sight of joy
• we have no more to give
• commandments beyond our strength
• absence of divine light

But just because spiritual trials are real does not mean that they are incurable.

We can heal spiritually.

Even the deepest spiritual wounds—yes, even those that may appear to be incurable—can be healed.

My dear friends, the healing power of Jesus Christ is not absent in our day.

This reminded me of Moroni seemingly pleading with us that miracles have not ceased - our God is a God of miracles, and if miracles have ceased, it means only that faith has ceased.

The Savior’s healing touch can transform lives in our day just as it did in His. If we will but have faith, He can take our hands, fill our souls with heavenly light and healing, and speak to us the blessed words, “Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.”1

Does anyone have an experience of feeling the heavenly light and healing of our Savior?  Without going into specifics, I had an experience where I felt an abundance of this heavenly light and healing.  It seemed to be poured out - kind of washing over me in a continual flow of comfort, healing, and awesome.

Darkness and LightWhatever causes our spiritual ailments, they all have one thing in common: the absence of divine light.

President Uchtdorf brings in some phrases that called to mind imagery from Lehi's dream of the tree of life.  The absence of divine light sounds to me like mists of darkness - which blind the eyes and harden the heart (1 Nephi 12:17)

But even more profound, "the absence of divine light" as the root cause of spiritual ailment means there is hope for us all.

Darkness reduces our ability to see clearly. It dims our vision of that which was at one time plain and clear. When we are in darkness, we are more likely to make poor choices because we cannot see dangers in our path. When we are in darkness, we are more likely to lose hope because we cannot see the peace and joy that await us if we just keep pressing forward.  [emphasis added]

Here, I was reminded of the path to the tree, and also the peace and joy that is the tree of life (which fruit is most joyous to the soul 1 Nephi 11:23).

Light, on the other hand, allows us to see things as they really are. It allows us to discern between truth and error, between the vital and the trivial. When we are in the light, we can make righteous choices based on true principles. When we are in the light, we have “a perfect brightness of hope”2 because we can see our mortal trials from an eternal perspective.

Things as they really are immediately brought to mind the definition of truth from Doctrine & Covenants.  It makes sense that light exposes truth - light IS truth, or we could maybe rephrase President Uchtdorf to say "light is truth seen"

Going back to the dream of the tree of life, Lehi, after he prayed for the darkness to clear, could clearly see the tree (1 Nephi 8:9-10).  Perhaps this symbolizes having an eternal perspective.

We will find spiritual healing as we step away from the shadows of the world and into the everlasting Light of Christ.

The more we understand and apply the doctrinal concept of light, the more we can guard against spiritual sicknesses that afflict or trouble us on every side and hand, and the better we can serve as energetic, courageous, caring, and humble bearers of the holy priesthood—true servants and disciples of our beloved and eternal King. [emphasis added]

How do we understand and apply the doctrinal concept of light more?  Prayer, study, practice. ? President Uchtdorf will give us some more insights, too.  The rest of his talk is on "understanding and applying."

The Light of the World

What do you understand about the Light of Christ?  This could be an interesting discussion.  Comment below with your thoughts.  We know the Light of Christ is also called our conscience.  We know that it has other names (Spirit of Christ, more below, too).  We know that the Spirit of Christ is given to every person, to help us judge between good and evil.  Now let's add to our knowledge with President Uchtdorf's insights.  I emphasized things I thought were profound:

Jesus Christ said, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in [the] darkness, but shall have the light of life.”3

What does this mean?

Simply this: He who humbly follows Jesus Christ will experience and share in His light. And that light will grow until it eventually dispels even the most profound darkness.

It means that there is a power, a strong influence, that emanates from the Savior. It proceeds “forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space.”4 Because this power enlightens, uplifts, and illuminates our lives, the scriptures often call it light, but it is also referred to as spirit and truth.

This power may also be called virtue - I thought of the woman with the issue of blood - Christ felt the "virtue" gone out of Him (Mark 5:30).

In the Doctrine and Covenants we read, “The word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ.”5

This profound insight—that light is spirit, which is truth, and that this light shines upon every soul who comes into the world—is as important as it is hopeful. The Light of Christ enlightens and saturates the souls of all who hearken to the voice of the Spirit.6

The Light of Christ fills the universe.

It fills the earth.

And it can fill every heart.

“God is no respecter of persons.”7 His light is available to all—great or small, rich or poor, privileged or disadvantaged.

If you open your mind and heart to receive the Light of Christ and humbly follow the Savior, you will receive more light. Line upon line, here a little and there a little, you will gather more light and truth into your souls until darkness has been banished from your life.8

Footnote 8 was clarifying, and I want to include it:  "Doctrine and Covenants 88:40 teaches that “light cleaveth unto light.” In other words, the more light, truth, wisdom, and virtue we receive, the more we will attract into our lives. “He that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day” (Doctrine and Covenants 50:24)."

God will open your eyes.

God will give you a new heart.

God’s love, light, and truth will cause dormant things to spring to life, and you will be reborn into a newness of life in Christ Jesus.9

Footnote 9 is also revealing:  "This is one of the promises of baptism—that as we bury our mortal, carnal lives, we emerge from the waters of baptism alive in Christ. We emerge as new creatures who walk in a newness of life (see Romans 6:4; 2 Corinthians 5:17)."

The Lord has promised, “If your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.”10

This is the ultimate remedy for spiritual sickness. Darkness vanishes in the presence of light.

Next, President Uchtdorf is going to increase our understanding through metaphor.

A Metaphor for Spiritual Darkness

However, God will not force us to embrace His light.

If we become comfortable with darkness, it is unlikely that our hearts will change.

Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone for healing.  It also occurred to me that if we become comfortable with darkness - we may have the wrong angels as our associates.  The difficulty may be recognizing it!  Any thoughts?  Are we too comfortable with darkness that is impairing our path to Christ?

For change to take place, we need to actively let the light in.

I really wanted to know "How?" right here - the how is coming - after the airplane/flying observation and metaphor.  :)  (Emphasis mine.)

During my flights as an airline captain across our planet earth, I was always fascinated by the beauty and perfection of God’s creation. I found especially captivating the relationship between the earth and the sun. I consider it a profound object lesson of how darkness and light exist.

As we all know, within every 24 hours night turns to day and day turns to night.
So, then, what is night?

Night is nothing more than a shadow.

Even in the darkest of nights, the sun does not cease to radiate its light. It continues to shine as bright as ever. But half of the earth is in darkness.

The absence of light causes darkness.

When the darkness of night falls, we do not despair and worry that the sun is extinguished. We do not postulate that the sun is not there or is dead. We understand that we are in a shadow, that the earth will continue to rotate, and that eventually the rays of the sun will reach us once again.

Darkness is not an indication that there is no light. Most often, it simply means we’re not in the right place to receive the light. During the recent solar eclipse, many made great efforts to get into the narrow band of a shadow created by the moon in the middle of a bright sunny day.

 How can we move to a place of more light?  Comment with your thoughts.

In a very similar way, spiritual light continually shines upon all of God’s creation. Satan will make every effort to create a shadow or get us into a shadow of our own making. He will coerce us to create our own eclipse; he will push us into the darkness of his cavern.

(More mists of darkness imagery.)

Spiritual darkness can draw a veil of forgetfulness around even those who once walked in the light and rejoiced in the Lord. Nevertheless, even in moments of greatest darkness, God hears our humble petitions, as we pray, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”11

Oh, big one.  Satan wants us to forget our spiritual experiences and impressions.  How do you remember?  I keep a few various journals.  One is a dreams/meditations journal.  One is a journal of impressions from my scripture study.  One is a recording of sacred-to-me things.

In the days of Alma there were many who struggled to accept spiritual things, and “because of their unbelief,” God’s light and truth could not enter their souls “and their hearts were hardened.”12 

We Are Bearers of Light

Brethren, it is up to us to be in the right place to see the divine light and truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Even when night has fallen and the world seems dark, we can choose to walk in Christ’s light, keep His commandments, and courageously testify of His reality and His greatness.

We can choose our way out of mists of darkness by walking in Christ's light.

As a bearer of God’s priesthood and as a disciple of Jesus Christ, you are a bearer of light. Keep doing the things that will nurture His divine light. “Hold up your light”13 and “let [it] shine before men”—not so that they will see and admire you, but “that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”14

Here is the promised compilation of ways President Uchtdorf mentions to add and nurture spiritual light in our lives.  If you are in a classroom setting, you may like to write them down as you have class members read the quotes with them.

Spiritual Light:

• keep His commandments
• hold up your light
• good works
• turn heart in humble prayer
• seek His word in the scriptures 
• reach out in love
• reject temptation
• choose purity
• seek or extend forgiveness
• testify of truth

My dear brothers, you are instruments in the hands of the Lord with the purpose of bringing light and healing to the souls of Heavenly Father’s children. Perhaps you do not feel qualified to heal those who are spiritually ill—certainly not any more than a post office employee is qualified to help with arthritis. Maybe you face spiritual challenges of your own. Nevertheless, the Lord has called you. He has given you authority and responsibility to reach out to those in need. He has endowed you with His sacred priesthood power to bring light into the darkness and uplift and bless God’s children. God has restored His Church and His precious gospel, “which healeth the wounded soul.”15 He has prepared the path to spiritual wellness, to find healing from stagnation and move toward vibrant spiritual health.

Those with light are able to share it with others.  Priesthood holders are duty-bound to do so - in fact, holding an office in the priesthood is ONLY for others - you cannot bless yourself!  By the Spirit and by assignment, we can know who and how to bless.

Every time you turn your hearts to God in humble prayer, you experience His light. Every time you seek His word and will in the scriptures, the light grows in brightness. Every time you notice someone in need and sacrifice your own comfort to reach out in love, the light expands and swells. Every time you reject temptation and choose purity, every time you seek or extend forgiveness, every time you courageously testify of truth, the light chases away darkness and attracts others who are also seeking light and truth.  [emphasis added]

Darkness and light cannot coexist.  I love also that we meet or attract others who are also seeking light and truth.  We inspire each other, and can each share our pieces of the grand puzzle.  We all have different gifts, and we need each other to build Zion.

Think about your own personal experiences, moments of service to God and fellowmen when divine light has shined in your life—in the holy temple, at the sacrament table, in a quiet moment of prayerful pondering, in your family gatherings, or during an act of priesthood service. Share those moments with family, friends, and especially with our youth, who are seeking light. They need to hear from you that with this light come hope and healing, even in a world full of darkness.  [emphasis added]

Christ’s light brings hope, happiness, and healing of any spiritual wound or ailment.16 ...

Ahh - more alliteration...

...Those who experience this refining influence become instruments in the hands of the Light of the World to give light to others.17 They will feel what King Lamoni felt: “This light had infused such joy into his soul, the cloud of darkness having been dispelled, and … the light of everlasting life was lit up in his soul.”18

This is reminiscent of his Saturday morning talk (A Yearning for Home).  Paraphrasing - Why should we turn to the Lord?   First, our lives will be better.  Second, God will use us to make the lives of others better.

My dear brethren, my dear friends, it is our quest to seek the Lord until His light of everlasting life burns brightly within us and our testimony becomes confident and strong even in the midst of darkness.  [emphasis added]

It is my prayer and blessing that you will succeed in fulfilling your destiny as priesthood holders of Almighty God and always be joyful bearers of His heavenly light. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, our Master, amen.

Let's Discuss: "Three Sisters," by Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Three Sisters"

By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency
23 September 2017, General Women's Session

Hymn recommendations:
3  Now Let Us Rejoice
70  Sing Praise to Him
73  Praise the Lord with Heart and Voice
140  Did You Think to Pray?

Favorite quote:

There may be many things about life that are beyond your control. But in the end, you have the power to choose both your destination and many of your experiences along the way. It is not so much your abilities but your choices that make the difference in life.

Something to put on the board:

She lived joyfully not because her circumstances were joyful but because she was joyful.

Quick synopsis:

The true disciple of Jesus Christ is glad, and does not let sadness or madness overcome the joy and happiness found by staying on the path of righteousness.

Other preparation:

Consider making a handout of the table - or make your own table - mine is a little simplistic.

Quotes and Discussion:

President Uchtdorf seems to love rhymes and alliteration.  That is especially interesting to me, seeing as English is not his native language.  But I think the rhymes and the parable made his words more approachable for all the women in attendance - ages 8 and up were there, after all!  I think he carefully crafted his talk to be understood on many levels.

As I studied this talk, I realized (and he stated) that the 3 sisters to some extent represent each of us (all 3 represent me, all 3 represent you, etc.).  Sometimes we feel sad, sometimes we feel mad, and sometimes we feel glad.  Hopefully more and more, we can overcome the sad and mad, as we become truer followers of Jesus Christ.  I decided to make a table to help us analyze the three sisters.  This might make a good handout, but is a little long to write on the board.  Did I miss anything that could improve it?  Comment below.

	SAD	MAD	GLAD
Label:	Victim	Hater	Authentic Disciple of Christ
Self image:	thinks she's not quite good enough	thinks she's smart, funny, fair, fashionable, fascinating	loves to sing - even though her pitch isn't great
Reaction to others:	finds a secret spot to feel sad; wonders why life so bleak and cheerless	lashes out at others; "Life is so unfair!"	does not let other people and their opinions bother her too much
Death:	discovered no shortage of disappointments in life and died sad	every day found something new to dislike and died mad	spent her life singing her song with a confident smile and died glad
Approach to life:	She was giving others control over how she felt and behaved.	She blamed others for the problems in her life	She trusted God even in the face of ridicule and hardship. She lived joyfully not because her circumstances were joyful but because she was joyful.
How to get out of the rut:	Remember who you are. ... And nothing anyone ever says about you can change that. Their words are meaningless compared to what God has said about you. You are His precious child. He loves you. Even when you stumble, even when you turn away from Him, God loves you. If you are feeling lost, abandoned, or forgotten—fear not. The Good Shepherd will find you. He will lift you upon His shoulders. And He will carry you home.	What did the Savior teach? “I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; “That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.” This is the Savior’s way. It is the first step in breaking down the barriers that create so much anger, hatred, division, and violence in the world.	What rut?
Key to happiness:	get out of rut, find path	get out of rut, find path	Stay on the path! Never let go of the rod of iron—the word of God! And when anyone tries to make you ashamed for partaking of the love of God, ignore them. Never forget you are a child of God; rich blessings are in store; if you can learn to do His will, you’ll live with Him once more!

Do you see yourself?  If you are not the fully authentic disciple, do you feel hope knowing President Uchtdorf shares strategies for overcoming the ruts of "sad" and "mad?"

Now let's go through the talk.

Dear sisters, dear friends, to begin general conference with a worldwide sisters’ session is significant and wonderful. Just imagine: sisters of all ages, backgrounds, nationalities, and languages united in faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Why is it significant to begin general conference with the sisters' session?  (After this October 2017 conference, changes were made so it will no longer be the first session, but will alternate with the Priesthood session.)  Thoughts I had were the chivalric, "Ladies first" attitude that honors the feminine.  I thought how often women are more sensitive to intuition and the soft promptings of the Spirit.  Also, there is the fact that Eve partook of the fruit first.

As we recently met with our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, he expressed to us how much he loves the Lord. And I know that President Monson is very grateful for your love, your prayers, and your devotion to the Lord.

I love that President Monson loving the Lord stood out to President Uchtdorf (he mentioned it in another talk, too).  I have no doubt that President Monson knows Jesus Christ personally, and is His friend.  Even in the waning years of life, President Monson focused on the positive blessings he felt from God's hand.

Now into the story.  I've summed up a lot in the comparison table, so I do not have as much discussion here.

A long time ago in a distant land lived a family of three sisters.

The first sister was sad. Everything from her nose to her chin and from her skin to her toes seemed not quite good enough to her. When she spoke, her words sometimes came out awkwardly, and people laughed. When someone criticized her or “forgot” to invite her to something, she would blush, walk away, and find a secret spot where she would let out a sad sigh and wonder why life had turned out to be so bleak and cheerless.

The second sister was mad. She thought of herself as very smart, but there was always someone else who scored higher on tests at school. She considered herself funny, fair, fashionable, and fascinating. But always, there seemed to be someone who was funnier, fairer, more fashionable, or more fascinating.

She was never first at anything, and this she could not endure. Life was not supposed to be this way!

Sometimes she lashed out at others, and it seemed that she was always one breath away from being outraged by one thing or another.

Of course, this did not make her any more likable or popular. Sometimes she clenched her teeth, tightened her fists, and thought, “Life is so unfair!”

Then there was the third sister. Unlike her sad and mad sisters, she was—well, glad. And it wasn’t because she was smarter or more beautiful or more capable than her sisters. No, people sometimes avoided or ignored her too. They sometimes made fun of what she was wearing or the things she was saying. They sometimes said mean things about her. But she did not allow any of that to bother her too much.

This sister loved to sing. She didn’t have great pitch, and people laughed about it, but that didn’t stop her. She would say, “I am not going to let other people and their opinions stop me from singing!”

Why do you think President Uchtdorf chose "singing" as a mark of the glad sister?  What does the singing or the song represent?  Here are some of my ideas, but I'd love to read yours in the comments:

• letting your light shine
• holiness to the Lord
• praise to God
• gratitude
• song is also a form of prayer - it could be symbolic of her praying always
• the mighty change of heart is called by Alma "feeling to sing the song of redeeming love"

The very fact that she kept singing made her first sister sad and her second sister mad.

I remember this got a laugh.  But there's a lesson, too.  Why do authentic disciples get persecuted sometimes?  It could be a mark of opposition in all things.  I like the scripture in the Sermon on the Mount which reminds us: "so persecuted they the prophets which were before you" (Matthew 5:12).  Even Nephi, a man "highly favored" of the Lord, experienced "many afflictions" throughout his days (1 Nephi 1:1).

Many years passed, and eventually each sister reached the end of her time on earth.
The first sister, who discovered again and again that there was no shortage of disappointments in life, eventually died sad.

The second, who every day found something new to dislike, died mad.
And the third sister, who spent her life singing her song with all her might and a confident smile on her face, died glad.

Of course, life is never so simple, and people are never so one-dimensional as the three sisters in this story. But even extreme examples like these can teach us something about ourselves. If you are like most of us, you may have recognized part of yourself in one, two, or perhaps all three of these sisters. Let us take a closer look at each one.

The Victim

The first sister saw herself as a victim—as someone who was acted upon.1 It seemed like one thing after another kept happening to her that made her miserable. With this approach to life, she was giving others control over how she felt and behaved. When we do this, we are driven about by every wind of opinion—and in this day of ever-present social media, those winds blow at hurricane intensity.

Dear sisters, why should you surrender your happiness to someone, or a group of someones, who cares very little about you or your happiness?

I wanted to introduce the next section instead of respond to it.  President Uchtdorf is about to give us a key to get out of the victim mentality.  The following are some great positive affirmations.  I recommend as an exercise writing these in first person, such as "I am of the royal house of the kingdom of God."  Or insert your name.  Make it personal.  Study these truths.  Believe these truths.  Write your own truths.  Let these truths permeate our very being.  Truth shines a light on false beliefs.  I strongly believe it is important not only to our happiness, but to our salvation to have a correct understanding of ourselves.  Now on to the beautiful truths:

If you find yourself worrying about what other people say about you, may I suggest this antidote: remember who you are. Remember that you are of the royal house of the kingdom of God, daughters of Heavenly Parents, who reign throughout the universe.

You have the spiritual DNA of God. You have unique gifts that originated in your spiritual creation and that were developed during the vast span of your premortal life. You are the child of our merciful and everlasting Father in Heaven, the Lord of Hosts, the One who created the universe, spread the spinning stars across the vast expanse of space, and placed the planets in their appointed orbits.

You are in His hands.

Very good hands.

Loving hands.

Caring hands.

And nothing anyone ever says about you can change that. Their words are meaningless compared to what God has said about you.

You are His precious child.

He loves you.

Even when you stumble, even when you turn away from Him, God loves you. If you are feeling lost, abandoned, or forgotten—fear not. The Good Shepherd will find you. He will lift you upon His shoulders. And He will carry you home.2

My dear sisters, please let these divine truths sink deeply into your hearts. And you will find that there are many reasons not to be sad, for you have an eternal destiny to fulfill.

The beloved Savior of the world gave His life so that you could choose to make that destiny a reality. You have taken upon you His name; you are His disciples. And because of Him, you can clothe yourselves with robes of eternal glory.

The Hater

The second sister was angry at the world. Like her sad sister, she felt that the problems in her life were all caused by someone else. She blamed her family, her friends, her boss and coworkers, the police, the neighbors, Church leaders, current fashion trends, even the intensity of solar flares, and plain bad luck. And she lashed out at all of them.

She didn’t think of herself as a mean person. To the contrary, she felt that she was only sticking up for herself. Everyone else, she believed, was motivated by selfishness, pettiness, and hate. She, on the other hand, was motivated by good intentions—justice, integrity, and love.

I recognize this attitude - it is so prevalent in our day!

Unfortunately, the mad sister’s line of thinking is all too common. This was noted in a recent study that explored conflict between rival groups. As part of the study, researchers interviewed Palestinians and Israelis in the Middle East, and Republicans and Democrats in the United States. They discovered that “each side felt their own group [was] motivated by love more than hate, but when asked why their rival group [was] involved in the conflict, [they] pointed to hate as [the other] group’s motivating factor.”3

In other words, each group thought of themselves as the “good guys”—fair, kind, and truthful. By contrast, they saw their rivals as the “bad guys”—uninformed, dishonest, even evil.

I noticed this with my young children, that they sincerely believe they are good and doing good.  I try to be careful never to call the child "bad."  Good children sometimes make poor choices, but they are still good.

In the year I was born, the world was immersed in a terrible war that brought agonizing grief and consuming sorrow to the world. This war was caused by my own nation—by a group of people who identified certain other groups as evil and encouraged hatred toward them.

They silenced those they did not like. They shamed and demonized them. They considered them inferior—even less than human. Once you degrade a group of people, you are more likely to justify words and acts of violence against them.

I shudder when I think about what happened in 20th-century Germany.

What a warning for us, today.

When someone opposes or disagrees with us, it’s tempting to assume that there must be something wrong with them. And from there it’s a small step to attach the worst of motives to their words and actions.

Of course, we must always stand for what is right, and there are times when we must raise our voices for that cause. However, when we do so with anger or hate in our hearts—when we lash out at others to hurt, shame, or silence them—chances are we are not doing so in righteousness.

What did the Savior teach?

“I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.”4

This is the Savior’s way. It is the first step in breaking down the barriers that create so much anger, hatred, division, and violence in the world.

President Uchtdorf gives us the key to overcoming the hater mentality.

“Yes,” you might say, “I would be willing to love my enemies—if only they were willing to do the same.”

But that doesn’t really matter, does it? We are responsible for our own discipleship, and it has little—if anything—to do with the way others treat us. We obviously hope that they will be understanding and charitable in return, but our love for them is independent of their feelings toward us.

Perhaps our effort to love our enemies will soften their hearts and influence them for good. Perhaps it will not. But that does not change our commitment to follow Jesus Christ.

So, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ, we will love our enemies.

We will overcome anger or hate.

We will fill our hearts with love for all of God’s children.

We will reach out to bless others and minister to them—even those who might “despitefully use [us] and persecute [us].”5

The Authentic Disciple

The third sister represents the authentic disciple of Jesus Christ. She did something that can be extremely hard to do: she trusted God even in the face of ridicule and hardship. Somehow she maintained her faith and hope, despite the scorn and cynicism around her. She lived joyfully not because her circumstances were joyful but because she was joyful.  [emphasis added]

How can we increase our trust in God, even in the face of ridicule and hardship?  Comment below with your experiences and ideas.  I have come to know that God knows my happiness better than I do, and so what may seem painful at the time is for my greater happiness ultimately.

How can we be joyful regardless of our circumstances?  Comment below.  To me, happiness is a choice.  The world says to be sad when bad things happen.  It's a false tradition!  True happiness - true peace - comes from our relationship with God.

None of us makes it through life’s journey unopposed. With so many forces trying to draw us away, how do we keep our vision fixed on the glorious happiness promised to the faithful?

I believe the answer can be found in a dream that a prophet had thousands of years ago. The prophet’s name is Lehi, and his dream is recorded in the precious and wonderful Book of Mormon.

In his dream, Lehi saw a vast field, and in it was a wondrous tree, beautiful beyond description. He also saw large groups of people making their way toward the tree. They wanted to taste its glorious fruit. They felt and trusted that it would give them great happiness and abiding peace.

There was a narrow path that led to the tree, and alongside was an iron rod that helped them stay on the path. But there was also a mist of darkness that obscured their vision of both the path and the tree. And perhaps even more dangerous was the sound of loud laughter and ridicule coming from a large and spacious building nearby. Shockingly, the mocking even convinced some people who had reached the tree and tasted the wondrous fruit to begin to feel ashamed and wander away.6

Perhaps they began to doubt that the tree was really as beautiful as they had once thought. Perhaps they began to question the reality of what they had experienced.

Maybe they thought if they turned away from the tree, life would be easier. Maybe they would not be ridiculed or laughed at anymore.

And actually, the people who were scoffing at them looked like people who were quite happy and having a good time. So perhaps if they abandoned the tree, they would be welcomed into the congregation of the great and spacious building and be applauded for their judgment, intelligence, and sophistication.

Stay on the Path

Dear sisters, dear friends, if you find it difficult to hold fast to the iron rod and walk steadfastly toward salvation; if the laughter and ridicule of others who seem so confident cause you to waver; if you are troubled by unanswered questions or doctrines you don’t understand yet; if you feel saddened because of disappointments, I urge you to remember Lehi’s dream.

Stay on the path!

Never let go of the rod of iron—the word of God!

And when anyone tries to make you ashamed for partaking of the love of God, ignore them.

Never forget you are a child of God; rich blessings are in store; if you can learn to do His will, you’ll live with Him once more!7

The promises of praise and acceptance by the world are unreliable, untrue, and unsatisfying. God’s promises are sure, true, and joyful—now and forever.
I invite you to consider religion and faith from a higher perspective. Nothing offered in the great and spacious building can compare with the fruit of living the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Indeed, “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”8  [emphasis added]

What does President Uchtdorf mean by "consider religion and faith from a higher perspective?"  Comment below.  Continuing with the tree of life vision, it may be easier to remember the tree when we consider the whole scene - the fall of the building, etc., instead of being on the path, in a mist of darkness.  That is one way to change your perspective.  So might be looking at things in the "eternal scheme."  Remembering that death or loss is not the end - or that one day someone who hurts us will know what they caused.  (If we could forgive them then, can we forgive them now?)

I have learned for myself that the path of discipleship in the gospel of Jesus Christ is the way to joy. It is the way to safety and peace. It is the way to truth.  [emphasis added]

I testify that by the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, you can learn this for yourself.
In the meantime, if the path becomes difficult for you, I hope you will find refuge and strength in our wonderful organizations of the Church: Primary, Young Women, and Relief Society. They are like waypoints on the path, where you can renew your confidence and faith for the journey ahead. They are a safe home, where you can feel a sense of belonging and receive encouragement from your sisters and fellow disciples.

How can we increase the efficacy of our waypoints in the Church?

The things you learn in Primary prepare you for the additional truths you learn as young women. The path of discipleship you walk in your Young Women classes leads to the fellowship and sisterhood of Relief Society. With each step along the way, you are given additional opportunities to demonstrate your love for others through acts of faith, compassion, charity, virtue, and service.

Choosing this path of discipleship will lead to untold happiness and fulfillment of your divine nature.

It will not be easy. It will require the very best that you have—all your intelligence, creativity, faith, integrity, strength, determination, and love. But one day you will look back upon your efforts, and oh, how grateful you will be that you remained strong, that you believed, and that you did not depart from the path.  [emphasis added]

I love how encouraging and hope-filled President Uchtdorf's words are. Does anyone have experiences to share - of happiness attained from the path of discipleship?

Press On

There may be many things about life that are beyond your control. But in the end, you have the power to choose both your destination and many of your experiences along the way. It is not so much your abilities but your choices that make the difference in life.9

You cannot allow circumstances to make you sad.

You cannot allow them to make you mad.

You can rejoice that you are a daughter of God. You can find joy and happiness in the grace of God and in the love of Jesus Christ.

You can be glad.

I urge you to fill your hearts with gratitude for the abundant and limitless goodness of God. ...

Let's take a moment - set a timer if you like - but take a moment to fill our hearts - to feel gratitude to God for His abundant and limitless goodness.

...My beloved sisters, you can do this! I pray with all the affection of my soul that you will make the choice to press on toward the tree of life. I pray that you will choose to lift up your voice and make your life a glorious symphony of praise, rejoicing in what the love of God, the wonders of His Church, and the gospel of Jesus Christ can bring to the world.

The song of true discipleship may sound off-key or even a little loud to some. Since the beginning of time, this has been so.

But to our Heavenly Father and to those who love and honor Him, it is a most precious and beautiful song—the sublime and sanctifying song of redeeming love and service to God and fellowmen.10

I leave you my blessing as an Apostle of the Lord that you will find the strength and courage to joyfully thrive as a daughter of God while gladly walking each day on the glorious path of discipleship. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.